If you have been reading the news recently, you’ve seen that Wayne Rooney’s wife – Colleen Rooney – has given birth to a baby boy called Kai. It has been reported that Wayne is actually a fan of grusome beat em up Mortal Kombat, and named it after a quite frankly rubbish character from the game’s 4th and Armageddon edition (I mean come on Wayne – Cyrax Rooney has a much better ring to it!)
With that said, I feel that as a virile, bored and loaded young man, I predict he’ll probably want more than one child, and will need some future baby names. As we like to do here on Retro Garden, we’re providing a public service for Mr. Rooney, and here are four other names Wayne can use for his future born.
As Wayne seems to be such a fan of Beat-em-ups, I’ve limited to characters from those series of games.
Cammy Rooney (Street Fighter)
If the next Rooney sprog is a girl, then this would be a great name for them. Named after the ass kicking chick from Street Fighter, Cammy opitimises bulldog breed & Britishness. Fighting the good fight, keeping the British end up, and looking totally hot to boot, if Cammy Rooney lived upto the tenth of her Street Fighter namesake in class, crass & ass, then she’d be an awesome woman.
King Rooney (Tekken/King of Fighters)
Okay, they may sing this from the terraces of Old Trafford, but King Rooney could be a great name for a baby. Most importantly it’s asexual, with King being the name of the masked wrestler from the Tekken series, as well as the female bouncer who hides her gender in the King of Fighters series. If The Rooney’s want to take a little risk and not pick a name before birth, then King Rooney could be the name for them.
Jacky Rooney (Virtua Fighter)
Again, another androgenous name, Jacky in Virtua Fighter is a man, though not much of one, as he’s easily beatable first character in the game, he does get stronger, becoming a hero in later incarnations as the story develops. Also has a couple of mean throws including an Emerald Fusion drop (which just looks nasty). Can work well both as a male or female name.
Icky Bod Clay Rooney (Clayfighters)
As celebrities like to pick stupid names, here is one that is just out there. Icky Bod Clay was a great fighter from the original Clayfighters, inexplicably dropped from the second game along with a lot of the other roster. I’m sure if Wayne Rooney sat down for a couple of hours on this beat em up, he’d feel the love associated with Mr. Clay. Plus, the second and third names of the child are already sorted.
These are my suggestions, I do hope Mr. Rooney uses them. Do you have any suggestions for the future England captain for baby names?