F-Zero X

The orgy of racers on the track make navigation difficult.Strap on your seatbelts and get ready for futuristic racing with Nintendo’s vision of futuristic death racing in F-Zero X.

This game is a sequel to F-Zero, which I believe was a pretty but aged and average racer from the early days of the Super Nintendo, thankfully the N64 game is a lot more fun, with 30 cars, twists, loops, jumps and boosts.

The obvious comparison is with Wipeout – Sony/Psygnosis’ foray into the world of futuristic racing. Or should that be Sony/Psygnosis’ foray into the world of getting the homing missiles and blasting people into oblivion. Sure, it’s a lot prettier, but I sat down with Wipeout 2097 and unlocked everything in 2 hours using a combination of missiles, missiles and more missiles. So, after round one. F-Zero’s tricky corners and you have to be actually (shock horror) good at moving the joystick from left to right wipe the floor with Sony’s offering.

Anyway, this is not about Wipeout, it’s about F-Zero. There are four trophies and 3 difficulty levels, all of which ahve to be completed to unlock all 30 racers, an extra difficulty level, and “The X Cup”, which is randomly generated tracks (it’s not that great, they’re either ovals or have unworkable corners that eliminate everybody from the course). Providing you don’t crash and run out of energy, you progress to the next race with points and grid position based on your previous race. Whoever has the most point at the end of the six races wins. Simple.

There are 30 cars to play including the series protaganist - Captain FalcolnSurprisingly, the multiplayer isn’t too hot. The cars are reduced to 4, and any car eliminated gets control of a slot machine, that can affect the other drivers still in the race. I know they have to reduce the racers due to memory constraints, but it’s just a little weak in my eyes and the slot machine is more annoying than your retarded friends sending you 50 million Vampire invites on Facebook.

Truth is, the single player outshines the multiplayer as much as Alpha Centuri outshines a pint of Guinness. Thirty cars who jostle and weave past each other vying for the number one spot on some of the most impressive tracks ever seen. It’s supremely fun and you’ll come back to it again and again, but you’ll have to as later difficulty levels are so hard you will have to wear a metallic pair of underpants to stop the arse kicking you’ll repeatedly recieve.

That’s a pain though, as it seems that later levels revert to a classic “Lets make all other cars faster than you rather than better than you” Nintendo Trick seen in the likes of Mario Kart, so much so that the only way to win is to run your rival off the track so they get zero points and you get a decent amount.

However, like Mario Kart, this can be forgiven like a good shag who uses you. It’s fun, it’s fast, it’s dirty, and well worth playing by anybody who wants a decent futuristic racer.

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4 thoughts on “F-Zero X

  1. Oh wow. I remember playing that game.

    Mario Kart still was my favourite racing game for the 64, but you’ve brought back a lot of memories with that post.

  2. I loved this game so much as a kid. Though I still stay clear of anything higher than the normal difficulty. Part of the fun I get is just ramming other cars into the rails or spinning like a top in a crowd of other racers. I can definitely put this in at any time and still get a lot of enjoyment.

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